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Good morning, internet friends. I've come to enjoy waking up to Gawker Media's server being hosed—it's like a cyber-space snooze button. Now, sadly, they live again, and news we must. If I wanted to sleep in all the time, I might consider working for Sony, who has patented the concept of beaming ultrasonic signals into a person's brain to transmit recorded images or sounds, as seen in The Matrix or every other anime. Sounds amazing, right? Too bad it's all bullshit:

A Sony Electronics spokeswoman told the magazine that no experiments had been conducted, and that the patent "was based on an inspiration that this may someday be the direction that technology will take us."

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So that's all you have to do to get a patent? Why aren't science fiction writers loaded, then? (Thanks, Everybody!)

Sony Invention Beams Sights, Sounds Into Brain [Yahoo/Reuters]