The Erectile Quality Monitor Review

Illustration for article titled The Erectile Quality Monitor Review

Jesus and I tested out the erectile quality monitor gadget (different units!) to see if it was actually useful, or if it was just telling you what you could easily see for yourself.

First we need to be clear on what this is for. The EQM measures your maximum erectile quality, so to properly test it, you'll have to make sure you're at maximum erectness. Then, press the EQM to the tip as hard as your junk will allow without bending, then see how you score on a scale of 500 grams to 2000 grams (higher is better). It's called "axial rigidity", and it's the type of rigidity that's "needed for penetration."


To be honest, Jesus and I don't need this, seeing as we're both under the age of 45. Since today is my birthday, I figured I would try it again to make sure that aging one more year hasn't deteriorated my pantsing ability. It hasn't (yet).

It is, however, a good way to learn what the difference between a 6 on the meter and a 10 on the meter is, just for personal reference. In case you have to do cock pushups, perhaps. I scored an 8, 9 and 10, but got a 6 once—from being distracted by a phone call or an IM or something (I forget).

But for men over a certain age, the EQM is a pretty good way for you to know how erect you can get. At $79, it's not cheap, especially when factoring in the doctors' visit you'll need afterwards if you want to actually do something to improve your erectile quality. But if you're monitoring your status because of your blood pressure or if you're on some medication, this could save yourself the time of going to the doctor and having him measure your penis for you.

The EQM is probably nothing more than a novelty for a good majority of Giz readers, but I can very well see it being extremely useful for a certain population. The great news is mine still works! Happy birthday to me! [Fast Size]


Share This Story

Get our `newsletter`



Thank you for specifying that you used 2 different units. I was having vomit jump up my throught before I could even finish reading the first sentence.

That is a little expensive for a device only one guy can (Read: Should) used per unit.