First Uber came for the taxi industry. Now, for our grandmas.
Uber is partnering with “Life Reimagined,” a non-profit wing of the AARP, to lure our nation’s most aged citizens into becoming chauffeurs. Apparently, the manifestation of late capitalism in app form is not contented with its current cache of drivers and is thirsty for the labor of olds looking for something to do.
Uber is luring the olds with a sweet $35 bonus, “equivalent to a full tank of gas in many cities,” after your grandparents successfully deliver 10 people to their destinations.
Emilio Pardo, the executive vice president of the AARP, explained how the partnership will help the elderly avoid the ravages of retirement-induced boredom by driving people with iPhones around:
Life Reimagined was launched by AARP in 2014 to help people in transition reimagine their lives by reflecting, exploring, and discovering new possibilities, and companies like Uber are creating new work and financial opportunities for millions of people. Our mission is to help people discover what’s next, and this collaboration with Uber presents a tremendous new opportunity for those who are considering a change in their careers or are looking for new paths in their lives.
I did not have time to request comment from the spokespeople for Golfing, Florida, Early Bird Specials, or Coddling Adult Grandchildren, but I suspect they are displeased.