Yahoo Said to Be Exploring Strategic Options

Yahoo is having a midlife crisis. Today, the company announced that it’s seeking strategic alternatives (i.e. - looking to sell some or all of its properties) in an attempt to generate more cash and please shareholders.

“The Board also believes that exploring additional strategic alternatives, in parallel to the execution of the management plan, is in the best interest of our shareholders,” said Yahoo’s Chairman of the Board Maynard Webb in a statement.


This is just the latest in a string of nightmares for Yahoo: A lawsuit filed earlier this week calls out Yahoo’s controversial performance review system that forces managers to rank every employee on a scale of 1 to 5. The company also reportedly failed to grow its advertising revenue during a period where Google and Facebook both experienced explosive growth. Yahoo has fucked up so many times, we even put together our own list of the best ones.

Yahoo CEO and documented Zamboni-lover Marissa Mayer pledged to continue marching her failed business plan forward. “Today, we’re announcing a strategic plan that we strongly believe will enable us to accelerate Yahoo’s transformation,” she said in a statement. “This is a strong plan calling for bold shifts in products and in resources.”

What happens next to Yahoo is anyone’s guess. Let’s just hope it involves more sweet, sweet Zamboni action.

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