Courtney Love is back in New York to deal with her assault charges, and some say she's not looking her freshest. Whatevs describes the sight this way:

Imagine with me, if you will, that Joan Rivers is a snake (think a big, old, wrinkled version of Coily). Now imagine with me that an evil spirit from a netherworld inhabited some dead skin that Joan shed twenty-five years or so ago and decided to get on a plane to fly to LaGuardia. But before stopping off at the local courthouse, this spirit was date raped by Michael Caine and, in the aftermath, decided it would be a GREAT idea to visit Jocelyn Wildenstein's make-up artist for a quick rouge bath. And that's pretty much that.

But Julian, I'm uglier than you [Whatevs]