If readers are anything like us—and we suspect you are, since you're reading this—the UPS guy comes to your door bringing goodies almost every other day. So wouldn't it be sadistic to scare the shorts off him with The Stranger door knocker? Yes, yes it would.
This knocker is an old-tyme knocker fastened to your door, but with half of a severed arm firmly gripping the end. Mildly scary in-and-of-itself, but there's also a motion sensor that detects when someone's approaching and activates the arm to start knocking by itself! Both frightening and cool, in the same way that Orlando Bloom is both masculine and feminine.
Note, this is totally different from giving yourself "the stranger". That's another animal entirely. Available now for $14.99 plus the cost of 3 AA batteries.