Mollibrands Premium Waters: Buy This and We'll Shoot Your Dog

The water sellers have stepped over the line again, now marketing the stuff toward pets. Mollibrands' precious website makes my skin crawl, where the anthropomorphizing goes so far beyond the realm of reality that these people must have been upset about the reclassification of Pluto because it's their homeland. Get this:

"Since we are pet parents ourselves, we have created the precise formula to support pets' key body functions for a healthy life."
Funny how there's no mention of the price of this Molli's Choice water, which if you have to ask, you probably can't afford it. The company offers this most rare of products in an unflavored version and "a selection of subtle and sophisticated flavors to keep even the most discriminating pet properly hydrated." Maybe you should try pouring some of this premium bottled water in your toilet, the vessel preferred only by the most discriminating pets.

Product Page [Mollibrands, Inc., via TRFJ]