Talking Popcorn Machine Translates Pops Into Words

"Pop this, biznatch." is what I have always wanted my popcorn to say to me. This popcorn maker has a microphone inside the cabinet. The microphone will record the sounds from the popping corn and then translates the pops into words via morse code. Then a computer-program will read the words to you. The designer actually devised a way to determine whether a pop is a long or short morse code with a timing system. Pretty ingenious, really. Now, figure out a way to get the popcorn to pop obscenities and we will be all set.

Do you speak popcornese? [WMMNA]