When the day comes, if you don't have the cojones for seppuku we recommend the Booster Blades for a respectable self-offing.
Designed as a cross between a bicycle and inline skates, apparently you pedal more than you skate...and you look like a tool more than you do either.
Hit the jump for a brief video that displays the concept in its full flash embedded action.
Why was the video so short? Editors had to cut out the part when the skater skated instead of pedaled. Not only did he get a nasty bruise, but the clashing of two such disparate self-powered transportation technologies opened a wormhole that destroyed that section of our universe.
The Booster Blades are just moving into production. Look for them at a fine infomercial near you.