Snore Stopper Review (Verdict: I'm Still ZZZing)

I hear from others that I snore very loudly. Like a warthog grunting. Like a tuba being cleaned after playing at Mardi Gras parades. Like a fat lady passed out after dollar beer and taco night, ass up, farting into a living room with locked windows. So I hear.

Poor girlfriend Lisa. Poor Jason Chen, splitting the hotel room with me at tradeshows. I feel badly enough about the nasal night songs that I volunteered to test this electroshock snore stopping device. For you. For them.

This watch claims to gently chide your body, and I suppose, subconscious into peaceful sleep. But in my mind, it's the equivalent the electric chair for ZZZs. Here's how it works:

Snore Stopper Review (Verdict: I'm Still ZZZing)

Snore Stopper Review (Verdict: I'm Still ZZZing)

Snore Stopper Review (Verdict: I'm Still ZZZing)

Snore Stopper Review (Verdict: I'm Still ZZZing)

Snore Stopper Review (Verdict: I'm Still ZZZing)

Snore Stopper Review (Verdict: I'm Still ZZZing)

The device has gel pads on the wrist side, much like those pads that a defibrillator uses. They gel pads get dirty and dry out, but you can wash them, each set lasts for 30 days, and the $80 kit comes with a few spares. You strap the device to your wrist, turn it on, and dial the shock strength from 1-7. Initial testing revealed that I am a wimp, and that level three is painful place. So I set mine to 2. The point isn't to cause you pain. It's actually to give a light stimulation via a five-second electrical tingle, causing you to tense the muscles in your throat and stop snoring. The shock only goes on when a microphone detects three long noises in a row, above 65db. In theory.

In use, there were several problems. I put the device on my wrist, and went to bed. Lisa started talking to me about her day and it shocked me. A truck went by the window and it shocked me. I moved around, and it shocked me. And when it didn't shock me, I couldn't really fall asleep because I was scared of it shocking me. To work, it doesn't really need to actually friggin hurt, so I dialed it back to level 1. I just tucked in, under the covers, and tried not to move or make too much noise as I dozed off.

Then, I wake to a familiar elbow in the ribs. "You were snoring," Lisa said. She has really cute, little sharp elbows, btw. If she were a Pokemon, that would be her main attack, with critical damage against snoring boyfriend.

Apparently, putting my arm under the covers kept the device from hearing the ZZZs. This went on for
another day or two and I then I realized that I'd rather be snoring and getting elbowed once in awhile. That isn't to say my testing was conclusive for all. YMMV, and depending on the duress your snoring causes your loved ones, the device may be worth your time and trouble.

My Verdict: I fear being shocked in my sleep.

Snore Stopper [Gizmodo]