This complete waste of everyone's time is the Portable Desktop Dancing Water Fountain from Brando. It reacts to sound by squirting synchronized jets of water a couple of inches into the air "to create a peacful oasis," says the product site. You can turn off the sound-activated option so that the jets all go off constantly, but the only option I'm interested in is the one where I opt to pick up this battery-operated unit and throw it out of my window to create my own "peaceful oasis." Price and features after the jump.

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Sound Activation Mode: The Water Fountain will react to any sound, such as your voice, clapping sound or Music. Stand Alone Mode: The Water Fountain will demonstrate different water patterns on its own. Independent Water Jets Portable Size and Cordless Battery-operated Beautiful design complements your home, terrace and office Option to personalize your Water Fountain with glass beads, stones, etc. Functions: Interactive fun, stress relax, household and office fun, feng shui Decoration, collectible HxWxD(approx.): 120mm x 280mm x 280mm Shipping Weight: about 900g

All this fugliness will cost you $46.90, USB Gnome not included. [Brando]