For those of you who thought the iPhone was too expensive, brace yourselves for the crap that turned up at Russia's Millionaire Fair. A gold and diamond-encrusted phone—possibly the customized Vertu shown above—costs a jaw-dropping $1.2 million. (Cash only, please.) Does it do anything particularly exciting that other handsets can't, like neutralize your enemies with hot lasers? No, but its SIM card will let you make an unlimited amount of local calls from anywhere in the world, courtesy of an unnamed Russian mobile phone carrier. Other insanely unnecessary products on display for the semi-legitimate businessmen and their trophy 23-year-old wives:

• $1-million Icelink rims (but Bentley and bodyguard come free with purchase)
• Swarovsky-covered Mercedes Benz, for people who think Bentleys are, you know, gauche
• Attractive six-faced watch—why settle for just one face when you're a millionaire?
• The world's largest Christmas tree made of pure gold—Guinness Book of World Records is still verifying the claim
• "Golden" 6,500-euro Casa Bugatti coffee maker, presumably the consolation prize for millionaires who didn't get to buy the Christmas tree

[Millionaire Fair via Bornrich]