We've more or less spared you guys from cliched "top 10" gift guide hell—Bestmodo tag and our separate Giftmodo site aside—but some people like that kind of thing. Scouring through actual, dead-tree magazines, over at Slate, our own do-it-all Brendan Koerner lifts and separates the fruitcakes from the peppermint schnapps to see which gift guides you should furtively snap pictures of in Barnes & Noble to map out your descent into mall madness.
Snagging the Santa cap is Maxim (score: 9), with its "witty and varied gift ideas" (Maxim? Witty? Wow.) like Leatherman's badass and handy Skeletool. Also worth cribbing "inspiration" from: Domino (7.5), Plenty (7) and Consumer Reports (7). They're more straightforward, but you won't waste your time flipping through them. But avoid the rest of Conde Nast's catalog.
For more masochist or vindicative readers, there's Popular Mechanics' worst gadgets of 2007 list, though we think the Zune's actually a pretty solid player and don't have too many problems with the Pleo, cost aside. Last bit of circle jerking: our currently plastered-on-a-beach leader Brian Lam helped our seedy cousin Valleywag's Paul Boutin scramble together this quick "best gadgets of 2006" gift reader before jetting off to Hawaii. Good gear, sweet recession-like prices. [Slate, Popular Mechanics]