Gizmodo
Some genius has created the Ultimate Pleasure and Sex Training Machine using a vibrator and a ThighMaster, that weird legs exercise spring-based contraption that invaded the '80s like a plague of Galaga space aliens with a Spanish Fly overdose. The how-to seems quite simple, but the best thing, other than the looks (which indeed is like a Galaga alien spaceship), is their description on how to exercise in seated, lying and upper body positions (NSFW):
The exerciser can be used sitting, standing or lying down.To use in a seated position: Sit on the edge of a chair and place the padded handles between your thighs with the plastic housing pointing down. Angle the vibrator upward so that it can be inserted or positioned for external stimulation. Squeeze thighs together and repeat.
To use lying down: Adjust the angle of the vibrator so it is pointing straight out and away from the curved handles. Lie on your back with your knees slightly bent and position the vibrator. Place the padded handles between your knees and squeeze. As the exerciser is compressed and released, the vibrator will move in an in-and-out movement.
To work out the upper body, stand holding the padded handles of the exerciser, with the plastic cap pointing down and the vibrator angled toward you and positioned between your legs. Squeeze the handles together and repeat.
I see the price of these things going up on eBay. Fast. [Homemade Sex Toys]
Comments
It's looks like it's going to be a long day here at Giz.
I'm still curious about how it comes to be that men are the supposedly sex-starved ones but the market for sex toys seems to be overwhelmingly targeted towards women.
Hello, what's with the NSFW images on the front page?
<--- eBay'ing 30 "ThighMasters" with this link right now...
The hard part will be explaining to your doctor how you lost your left eye when it slips from your legs!
Problem with this one is that its harder to hide compared to a plain old vibrator. Can you imagine the looks on your childs face when they find your thighmaster vibrator (think confusion, surprise, horror, curiosity, pain)?
we need a demonstration video
And to think of all the thigh masters I passed up at garage sales...if I had only known.
@deepdish: Preferably not from the guy building the thing.
Please spell "geniuses" correctly or use "has" instead of "have". I expect better grammar from Gizmodo.
@ninjashock: You just answered your own question
@W3WEASEL:
because evil men force women to do such things for our his own amusement. women don't truly like sex. they like the attention and they like feeling desired, but the actual act they don't care for that much. for them, it is about the being pursued, but not concurred. you can look, but don't touch.
@deeddawg: Yeah. Putting the image in the post preview kind of negates the efficacy of the (NSFW) tag.
In Giz' defense - you shouldn't be reading Giz (or any blog) if the your monitor faces the entrance to your cube.
its facing the wrong way!?
@deepdish: I am going to assume (hope) you're kidding. If not, where did you get THAT stupid idea from? Women don't like sex? That SO going to be news to me and several other million women out there.
And I am not even touching that "concurred/conquored" thing. That alone speaks volumes as to why women may not like sex with YOU.
...
...
@_@
0_o
:-O
Maybe I should just go back to work now....
@ninjashock:
i have wondered about this - but maybe its designed by men for men - or their fantasies
@deepdish: that statement is a very misguided mix of feminism, fetishism and narcissism.
that being said, I see alot of lawsuits coming demanding compensation for thighmaster-related vaginal/anal injuries.
@deepdish: Dude, are you serious? What woman train-fucked your mind up man? Wow, I want to help your paradigm, your thought process so much....But alas, you are just some guy on the internet...How much help can I really give you?
My uncle is an engineer, my cousin did a lot of Jane Fonda tapes, and my sister used to be a PA for Suzanne Sommers, so I know this wouldn't work. The tensile strength of internal springs would not be sufficient to create the kind of pressure described and the angles depicted are both awkward and irrational. And when you turn a thigh-master around it would bend out not in, so only the back of the vibrator would come toward you. Plus everybody knows that that particular vibrator doesn't even vibrate very well, and it's kind of small.
/mockery
@92BuickLeSabre: Please note how he doesn't offer his own personal experience testing this.
*ahem* Buick, is there something you want to tell us?
That vibe looks like a Romulan War Saber... hot.
@Curves: Curves I was about to rant to the guy about his numbskullery when I read your post, unfortunately it loses a tiny bit of it's righteousness when even you misspell 'conquer'.
Of course, none of that negates deepdish's cluelessness. What a goober.
@Curves: ok, is it my "sarcasm monitor" too good? or is yours broken? :D
@Gann:
Gann gets the prize. I was trying to mix together many different offensive statements. As for 'conquer', hey man, it is still early here, where is my coffee?
Mmm. Suzanne Sommers still looks good.
@rsquared: I concur. Conquer.
@92BuickLeSabre:
Yet another "Internet Engineer". *sigh
@deepdish: My sex starved co-worker says thats not true. With enough money she might make the demo video. =)
Seems like their would be a Fleshlight version of this too...
@deepdish: I love to disagree with that.
...that said, that big sex toy is um... not very covert.
any videos?
@92BuickLeSabre: Did you know the sphincter can take up to 3x the size of a coffee can?! NSFW!
@everyone bugging deepdish: if he is serious, he can't be faulted too much. go outside of the females in a gadget blog and ask around how many of them use sex in a relationship to get what they want (positive/negative reinforcement/punishment). the obviously sexually liberated women that frequent gizmodo are not an accurate representation of the populous. and it seems perhaps deepdish has run into more women then not that do act this way, tainting his observations and no one has told him otherwise.
now as a preemptive strike to all the people that will say i am just the same...i was, before i learned different, so i empathize.
Yikes.
Deepdish here.
I was having fun. Bad taste, yes. But I was just pissing on the pile for the fun of it.
Yes, women like sex. They just can't enjoy it unless a man fulfills a certain quota of foreplay first. Their pleasure is dependent on men.
It all comes down to money and attention. The more money a man has, the less foreplay and attention is required. The less money he has, the more foreplay and attention is required before they can enjoy sex.
(oh god, now what have I done)
great gift idea for next years holiday season
I'm not even getting in on this thread, although Deepdish's comments are interesting...perhaps twisted, but interesting
Keep "dishin it it out deep", DeepDish
@GeekGoth: Image trying to rap that thing ? especially with it buzzing and twitching under the tree afterwards...
@tamoko: "especially with it buzzing and twitching under the tree afterwards"
the gift, or the user :P
@deepdish: The heck are you talking about? It's not about the money for me, it's about if my man is hot and knows how it works.
I'm going to go and guess there already are videos of that, or something very similar to it. I mean, there definitely *is* robot fetish porn. And then there's Rule #34.
Now that I have that out of the way, I'd say if a woman really wants to try something like that thing, there's probably already a prebuilt version available. Seriously, when it's about Sex, do you really, *really* want to use something you picked up on Instructables.com?
Also, women like sex, size does matter, and it's all in the hands.
@deepdish:
so having a lot of money makes you a better lover?
that would explain the young (poorer) lover syndrome many older women take? [www.oprah.com]
there might be some deep personal issues you are just scratching the surface of? Well done. Might as well be Gizmodo, than a professional shrink. (who would only take some of your love dollars away)
@ninjashock: This has nothing to do with sex starved. Look at the consumer nature that our women are brought up with, like purses and shoes. Now think or accessories for the vagina bam.
It's not that they need them but find it easier to use them. We are lucky we were born with 2 pretty good analogues for our lonely nights.
@deepdish: I'm not a fan of the word foreplay. It's like some cheap gimmicky prelude to the perfunctory insert, repeat, release procedure known as fornicatin'. To me, all of the amorous embracing and other physical candy-coating is all part of the loving, not "foreplay". Bleh.
@Curves:
conquered.
? O.o ?
wtf?
Buy this for the wife, Jesus?
I've met Suzanne Summers, and she is a very nice lady and probably already thought of this a long time ago and has a closet full of prototypes.
So now I know what I am asking for Valenine's!