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Breast Massage Robot is the Future of Breast Massages

Prepare yourselves, dear readers, for the greatest invention of the 21st century so far: the Breast Massage Robot. Yes, this miracle of modern science is designed for all sorts of women, from "girls who are reaching or having reached puberty, hope to improve the growth of breast" to "women who want to improve the quality of their sex activities" to "women who want to have pretty breasts." And it only gets better from there.

The device is the brainchild of one Mr. Wang Wei, founder and proprietor of Beijing BUBBY Robot Technologies CO., LTD. His business proposal for the Breast Massage Robot is the best thing I've ever read in my entire life.

As a result of market research, we specified our targeting consumer groups which are listed below:

1.Girls who are reaching or having reached puberty, hope to improve the growth of breast.

2.Women who received surgery in the breast, desire to have a faster and better recovery.

3.Mothers, who are nursing babies, want to release the pain and to accelerate the secretion of breast milk.

4.Female who is having the period, want to release the swelling pain of breasts.

5.Women who want to lower the incidence of mastopathies.

6.Women, who are under pressure, want to relax themselves.

7.Women who want to improve the quality of their sex activities.

8.Women who want to have pretty breasts.

The Breast Massage Robot stimulates massager's hand movements to perform comfortable massage. It is capable of automatically adjusting itself to fit various breast shapes. It also features good portability and a variety of massage programs.

We will sincerely corporate with investors to make the BMR the hottest high-tech product worldwide.

He then goes into great detail with an equally-misguided business plan which I recommend you check out as well. So, any investors up for it? It's "expected to be filling market vacancy and in great demand," so don't miss out! [Product Page via Dark Roasted Blend]


Send an email to Adam Frucci, the author of this post, at adam@gizmodo.com.


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