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Canned Bacon Guarantees Full Heart Failure in 24 Hours

Remember the canned cheeseburgers? Now you can make yours even more yummylicious with canned 100% US bacon, cooked and ready to eat. Actually, forget the burger: make your own bacon sandwich using two additional layers of bacon instead of bread. Each can contains all the vitamins and minerals you need to keep a healthy life while pretending to work in front of the computer, and you can even use the remaining fat to polish iPhones and assorted gadgets.

fc6a_1_sbol.JPG f8a3_1_sbol.JPG f484_1_sbol.JPG efa7_1_sbol.JPG eaea_1_sbol.JPG e54f_1_sbol.JPG e08f_1_sbol.JPG 6c99_1_sbol.JPG 0407_1_sbol.JPG 0085_1_sbol.JPG

Each can comes with 40 to 50 slices of lipids and protein, produced using three pounds of raw bacon plus:

• water
• salt
• sugar
• smoke flavoring
• sodium phosphates
• sodium erythorbate
• sodium nitrite

That's all the stuff any human flesh-eating zombie needs. $110 will buy you a full package of 12 cans of tasty cholesterol, heart bypasses not included. [MREdepot—thanks Kalle]


Send an email to Jesus Diaz, the author of this post, at jesus@gizmodo.com.


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By Jesus Diaz
Jun 3, 2008 01:20 PM 26 visitors67,477 72
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more about #bacon
Remainders - The Good, Bad and Ugly Things We Didn't Post (and Why)
Bacon Sunrise
Bacon-Flavored Envelopes: Your Bills Will Now Make You Poor and Fat
read more: #notspam, #bacon, #canned, #cheeseburger, #heartattack, #fat, #gross
 
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