A High-Speed Bacon Slicing Machine Should Come Standard With Every Kitchen

Hidden away in factories across the globe are purpose-built industrial machines that the world not only deserves to know about, but also deserves a chance to own. Like this high-speed meat slicer that would finally help you realize your dream of having bacon for breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner.


The Textor TS700-UB high speed involute blade slicer doesn’t have a name that rolls off the tongue, but when coupled with a powered conveyor belt (you don’t really need that dining room table, do you?) it can turn massive slabs of pork, or long sticks of sausage, into perfectly sliced and stacked deli meats using a blade that spins at 2,000 RPM. The only downside is you’re probably not going to be able to squeeze this machine in your dishwasher afterwards.

[YouTube via The Awesomer]

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Is there anything more tired than the internet love of bacon? Yeah, bacon is good. Lots of food is good. We get it.