Jersey Shore App Battle: The Situation Vs. Spread SnookiS

In this corner: The Situation - Official App. In the opposite corner: MTV's Spread Snooki. Which of these competing Jersey Shore apps deserves a fistpump, and which is a grenade?

Official Description Highlight

The Situation:

GRENADE DODGER
Dodge grenades just like Mike - the game!

Spread Snooki:

Come on, spread some Snooki. You know you want to…

Advantage: Spread Snooki

Feature Set

The Situation: A sound board populated with gems like "I Knew She Was 18" and "Hey Girl." A daily workout routine. A GTL Finder (if you have to ask what that is, you're not ready for it). That Grenade Dodger game. And Message Mike, which lets you send and receive messages with The Situation, or the intern paid to text like him.

Spread Snooki: Literally the only thing you can do with this is add pictures of Snookie—and a few captions—to your photos.

Advantage: The Situation

Beauty Shot App Icon

The Situation:

Jersey Shore App Battle: The Situation Vs. Spread Snooki



Spread Snookie:

Jersey Shore App Battle: The Situation Vs. Spread Snooki



Advantage: The Situation (by a signature)

App Store Comment Lowlight

The Situation:

love it *****
by grenadefreenation

i love it as much as i loooove jerseyshore n jerseyfy yourself app! good luck on dwts sitch

Spread Snooki:

Absolutely perfect lol *****
by papagood

I have NEVER wanted to 'spread' someone as much as snooki...

Advantage: Spread Snookie

Price

The Situation: $5 (seriously)

Spread Snooki: $1

Advantage: Spread Snooki

Sheer Ridiculousness

The Situation: The Situation's app might be more feature-packed-if you consider grenade dodging a feature and not unintentionally sad social commentary-but it's also five freakin dollars. As much as I'd like to support Mike's tanning bed and gym dues, there's absolutely no way in the world this is worth owning.

Spread Snooki: Sounds like a disease.

Advantage: Spread Snooki

Winner

I'm tempted to say that you can't go wrong here, since choosing Jersey Shore cast members is like choosing between children that I'm deeply ashamed of. But in terms of bang for your buck, and giving you something you might actually use—even just as a novelty—it's an easy call to make:

Jersey Shore App Battle: The Situation Vs. Spread SnookiS



Get out of my dreams, Snooki, and into my phone.

Oh, who am I kidding, these are both abominations.