7 Tools to Quit Smoking (Almost) Cold Turkey

Good call on deciding to stop smoking but, fair warning, the next few weeks are going to suck mad donkey balls. These seven smoking cessation devices will help make breaking the habit a bit more tolerable.

7 Tools to Quit Smoking (Almost) Cold Turkey

Filtrim


Smoking a cigarette with a tear in the paper is nearly impossible—you get no draw. The Filtrim device works on the same idea. It perforates the cigarette paper to lessen the draw, cool temperature of the burn (and thereby reduce the amount of chemicals produced). As you ween yourself, just add more and more perforations to further reduce the nicotine intake until that cancer stick looks like Danny Trejo's face. $47

7 Tools to Quit Smoking (Almost) Cold Turkey


Cessation Hypnosis


Apparently the same techniques used to make you quack like a duck whenever someone says "rutabaga" can also make you stop smoking cigarettes. This kit from Hypnosis Downloads includes a 10-step plan and follow-up email reminders that you are getting sleepy...veeeeeery sleepy. $97

7 Tools to Quit Smoking (Almost) Cold Turkey

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7 Tools to Quit Smoking (Almost) Cold Turkey

AcuOne


"Electro-acupuncture" is apparently a real thing. And, having "real thing" status, it apparently helps both curb cigarette cravings and increases weight loss by gently shocking Chakra points on the inside of your right wrist for two minutes at a time, 8-15 times a day. I mean think about it: if electro-acupuncture weren't a real thing, would they be selling it on the Internet?! $81

7 Tools to Quit Smoking (Almost) Cold Turkey

V2 electronic cigarettes


E-Cigarettes are vaporizers that (marginally) resemble the real thing in appearance and function. A heating element boils minute amounts of a nicotine-laced tincture that are inhaled with water vapor rather than actually burned, meaning you can wean your way off the stuff without torching your lungs. The V2 also includes numerous flavors such as Cowboy, Congress, Sahara, Coffee, Vanilla, and Cola. So does the Congress flavor taste like money or bullshit? $90

7 Tools to Quit Smoking (Almost) Cold Turkey

Quit Key


Since you lack the willpower to control your habits on your own, the QuitKey computer will control those habits in your stead. It alters your smoking pattern, gradually stepping down the rate at which you light up. It does so by designing an individualized process, based on your personal smoking habits, then slowly lengthening the time between sanctioned smokes. The tough part for you? Taking orders from a cold-hearted machine who doesn't know the meaning of withdrawal. $60

7 Tools to Quit Smoking (Almost) Cold Turkey

Nicostopper


So the problem with the QuitKey is you can turn it off. The Nicostopper, on the other hand, works much like the QuitKey but locks the cigarettes within itself and only dispenses them at specific intervals. It's also $300, which you should remember when you've grown tired of being bossed around by a glorified egg timer and go for a hammer. $300

7 Tools to Quit Smoking (Almost) Cold Turkey

Quitter App

Ex-smokers love to brag about how much money they've saved since they've given up the sticks. You can use that same sense of smug self-satisfaction as motivation to keep up your efforts. Just enter the amount of cigarettes you smoke on an average day and the price of a pack and the Quitter App for iOS will track how much money you've saved, and how long you've been on the wagon. $Free


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