This Idiot Casually Stole 250 Gallons of Gas from a Local Citgo

On the right, you're looking at Yoenis Cristo Banos, who's currently out on bail for a felony theft charge in Broward County, Florida. On the left? The silly gas-sucking system that got him there.

There are some criminal plans that are deceptively simple, and others that are just plain simple. Barnos's was the latter. From what I gather, it was formulated something like this:

Step one: Roll up to gas station in suspicious-looking van outfitted with giant plastic tanks, generator.
Step two: Park suspicious-looking van directly over the underground vaults that hold gas station's supply of gas.
Step three: Connect hoses to vaults, siphon gas into giant plastic tanks until police arrive.
Step four: Get arrested.

So, A+ for execution, Yoenis! He'd managed to slurp up 255 gallons—a value of about $1,020 on the thriving gasoline black market—before the gas station's managers started to wonder why a suspicious-looking van with hoses coming out the side was parked in their lot.

Seriously, Florida. Pull it together. You've got relatives coming for the holidays. [The Smoking Gun]