This Idiot Casually Stole 250 Gallons of Gas from a Local Citgo

Illustration for article titled This Idiot Casually Stole 250 Gallons of Gas from a Local Citgo

On the right, you're looking at Yoenis Cristo Banos, who's currently out on bail for a felony theft charge in Broward County, Florida. On the left? The silly gas-sucking system that got him there.

There are some criminal plans that are deceptively simple, and others that are just plain simple. Barnos's was the latter. From what I gather, it was formulated something like this:

Step one: Roll up to gas station in suspicious-looking van outfitted with giant plastic tanks, generator.
Step two: Park suspicious-looking van directly over the underground vaults that hold gas station's supply of gas.
Step three: Connect hoses to vaults, siphon gas into giant plastic tanks until police arrive.
Step four: Get arrested.


So, A+ for execution, Yoenis! He'd managed to slurp up 255 gallons—a value of about $1,020 on the thriving gasoline black market—before the gas station's managers started to wonder why a suspicious-looking van with hoses coming out the side was parked in their lot.

Seriously, Florida. Pull it together. You've got relatives coming for the holidays. [The Smoking Gun]

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Arggh! there goes a...snake a snake!

So the hoses were visible? I feel like you'd be able to get away with this if you cut a hole in the bed of the van and had nothing visible from the outside. Make sure your windows are tinted too. Yes, a van would be parked randomly but it wouldn't necessarily seem suspicious. Sometimes gas stations get busy enough that random cars are parked all over the place. You'd probably be able to get away with it a lot of the time.