Start stockpiling all the Pimp Juice you can fit in the attic, because a new study from a real actual doctor that didn't print out a degree from the University of Phoenix online suggests that energy drinks are actually good for your heart.
The University of Siena's Dr. Matteo Cameli presented his findings at the European Society of Cardiology Congress, claiming that pee-flavored caffeine-packed beverages called Monster and Rockstar can actually improve myocardial performance. Funny because most people think those things will probably kill you. In his research, Patch Adams di Italia had 35 25-year-old subjects imbibe some energy drink, then measured their blood pressure, heart rate, and left and right ventricular function. Cameli said that because the drinks improved contraction of both ventricles, then they are good for you.