The Stoner Channel: South America's Swanky Smugglin Subs, Mexico's Blame Game, and Muddy Waters' Blues Summit

Smoking Pot Could Cause Ball Rot

According to a recent study from the University of Southern California, South Park may have had it backwards. They found that men who habitually toked were roughly twice as likely to develop testicular cancer than those that didn't. Granted, this was a small scale study, interviewing 165 men who had already developed cancer between 1986 and 1991 and comparing that figure to another 285 men who had not. But, just to be safe, you may want to stick your sack in the microwave for a bit—you know, to kill off any carcinogenic spermatozoa that may be lurking there. [Live Science]

Muddy Waters Blues Summit in Chicago

Skip ahead to the 7 minute mark to see the single awesomest blues interview of all time. I'm not sure who the pianist is (or what he's saying) but the way he talks makes me think Boomhauer and Bubba had a love child.

The Feds Won't Ever Find These Next-Gen Cocaine Subs

When it comes to smuggling bales of cocaine into the US, submarines are the way to go—at least that's what the cartels think. Since their first sighting in 2006, the quantity and quality of these narco-subs have exploded throughout the Caribbean and Pacific. No longer the third-world, wooden-hulled sinkable shit stacks drug enforcement officials were finding just a few years ago, the newest generation are reportedly being built en masse by independent contractors (what you thought the US was the only one with a DARPA program?) for sale to the highest bidder. They now feature amenities like A/C, fancy paint jobs, steel hulls, room for a crew of five and as much as 10 tons of party dust. Some have even been found with quick-scuttling capabilities, which I imagine take the form of a comically large bathtub plug installed in the sub's floor. Popular Science has more details on the next big thing in smuggling. [PopSci - Music from "The Full Custom Sounds of" by Reverend Horton Heat. YOU BUY NOW]

The Secret Origins of Your Favorite Memes

There's no telling when or where the next big thing in memes will appear but from the looks of this collection, it'll either be from a cartoon or a popular comedy series or a movie so, you know, keep your eyes peeled.

Mexican President Blames US Drug Consumption for Rise of Cartels—Well No Shit Sherlock

File this pointed insight by Mexico's outgoing President Felipe Calderon under "Things Everybody Already Knew." If he's just now figuring that out after a full six years in office, is it any wonder why our Southern neighbors have been doing such a piss poor job of stopping smugglers?