Sprint Now Lets You Replace Your Phone Number With a Horrible UsernameS

Your phone number is just a string of meaningless digits you have to memorize. What a bummer! Wouldn't it be better if your phone number was a username?! That's the grand, horrible plan behind Sprint's new StarStarMe service, and it won't be long before it goes bad.

In a way, the pitch is great. You sign up for StarStarMe, you get your **MyName number, and then you go around telling people "Call me at **Steve!" It's a dream come true, right? Maybe for the first "Steve" but that's about it. Sure you can go with "usernames" but face it: those are always horrible. And if you go the full name/last name route, things go south as soon as there's any ambiguity in spelling. The beauty of a string of numbers is that you don't have to worry that someone will misspell it. "Oh and that's 307 with a seven, not a five, by the way." Oh, and it also has to be five characters minimum, so tough luck Luke/Dana/Neal/Mark/Tina/John.

Sprint customers will be the first to get StarStarMe, implying they have grand plans of spinning it out. The service also includes some other features, like the ability to send automatic texts in response to a StarStarMe call that goes unanswered. And as bad as all this sounds, it's only in addition to your number, as opposed to being a replacement, so it is at worst frivolus and dumb. If you're into dumb frivolity, however, this'll cost you 3 bucks a month. Better get in quick though, hot handles like **Awesome and **Penis are already taken. Better safe than sorry right? Maybe not. [Sprint via TechCrunch]