Photo: PBS

Continuing its proud tradition of supporting scientific inquiry, PBS conducted its own experiment this week, filming the Libertarian and Green Party candidates for president with no one to watch it and asking if it made a sound.

The answer to that famous zen koan, it turns out, is “yes, a pretty boring one.” One potential highlight from Monday’s half of the interview was when each candidate was asked about climate change, an enormously important issue that was mostly ignored during the major party debates. Unfortunately, the people responding to the prompt were Jill Stein and Gary Johnson.

“Well, I think the free market,” Johnson began, going on to explain that capitalism will probably solve this whole mess because “consumers are demanding less carbon emission.”

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For her part, Stein’s answer seemed equally in touch with reality.

“By moving to zero fossil fuels, we save so much money that it’s actually enough to pay the costs of the green energy transformation,” claimed Stein. “So when you balance out the savings in our healthcare and the savings in the military where we no longer need these wars for oil that consume half of our discretionary budget and almost half of your income taxes, we save so much money through those two offsets, also by moving our subsidies tens of billions into green energy subsidies that we can ensure that this is a win especially for poor people because they are the first in line for these jobs which are good wage, living wage, jobs.”

PBS is streaming the second half of the debate tonight on Facebook Live. It’s set to air at midnight, so, uh, good luck staying awake if you want to catch any of that.