The Sony hack is a terrible, awful thing that’s going to leave thousands of everyday employees dealing with the repercussions for years to come. But! At least there’s a crazy, ranting, sheeple-slaying silver lining. Friends, allow us to introduce you to the Sony hack truthers. There are a lot of them.
Their theories inhabit a wide range of crazy—from maybe-something’s-up skepticism to jet-fuel-can’t-melt-steel absurdity—but each is beautiful in its own, special way. Is it all just one big PR stunt? Did Obama orchestrate the Sony hack with the FBI to reintroduce SOPA legislation? Is this the same Big Brother group that went after Donald Sterling? Can we get Michael Jackson involved somehow? Sure! All of the above. Let’s take a tour.
It’s All a Publicity Stunt
https://twitter.com/embed/status/547552874297692160
CALLED IT! @patrickdijusto What If focus groups tell Sony "The Interview" will flop. Sony cooks up elaborate ruse to justify shelving it.
— Patrick Di Justo (@patrickdijusto) December 23, 2014
Has it occurred to anyone that perhaps #SonyHack was a publicity stunt to promote The Interview, now that they decided to go on showing?
— Pan Chasinga (@pancychain) December 24, 2014
#SonyHack possibly the most elaborate publicity stunt ever. #TheInterview @FoxNews @megynkelly
— Josey Wales (@WalesJose) December 23, 2014
It’s a Textbook False Flag Operation
https://twitter.com/embed/status/547404577382072320
https://twitter.com/embed/status/547098522831835137
Sony is spinning this cynical marketing plot as a 'victory for freedom'. MSM isn't even considering notion it's a huge PR scam. #SonyHack
— Paul Joseph Watson (@PrisonPlanet) December 23, 2014
Not buying this #SonyHack . Great marketing, irresponsible ..
— Vincent Gruosso (@1Vincent) December 23, 2014
1. Make a film.
2. Tell people you can't show it to them.
3. Show it anyways.
4. Profit.#SonyHack #TheInterview— Henri (@UrbanDrawer) December 24, 2014
Anybody remember me saying a while back to be watching for a false flag internet hack so the government could get control of the web? #Sony
— Hankusmackimus (@HankusMackimus) December 21, 2014
https://twitter.com/embed/status/547467758217486336
North Korea didn't hack Sony. It's a false flag to sell internet tryanny laws & a marketing ploy. Only low IQs will watch The Interview
— Zanesville Democrat (@ZANVDEM) December 24, 2014
It’s… I dunno, some crazy bullshit?
https://twitter.com/embed/status/546084296469913600
https://twitter.com/embed/status/547469445401436160
https://twitter.com/embed/status/547535876713381889
https://twitter.com/embed/status/546655883317366785
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFamMmp0o18
And perhaps
the most compelling argument of them all:
Seriously Though
It’s important to keep in mind that, in reality, all this leaked data was devastating, both to Sony and its employees. Thousands of social security numbers were plastered up for the world to see. Sony may be releasing The Interview in a few hundred theaters now, but that’s nothing compared to the thousands that they had been slated to previously. Plus, Sony is going to be dealing with the residual lawsuits for years.
Not to mention the fact that this isn’t a movie that Sony Pictures even likes very much! There will be no Oscar buzz. In any other scenario, the movie would have premiered to okay-ish box office numbers and immediately been forgotten about. There is absolutely no reason for Sony to risk its own livelihood—not to mention committing a federal offense or two in the process—on such a dumb, unspectacular, mediocre film.
No company that didn’t have a death wish would do this to itself. Kenyan expatriate Barack Hussein Obama in conjunction with the lamestream media and communist Cuba, though? You be the judge.
Art by Sam Woolley
