Neil deGrasse Tyson is a brilliant, modern-day Carl Sagan. He is also, if we are to judge solely by his Twitter account, a freshman philosophy major, tweeting from his dorm room and rolling blunts on top of his used copy of Plato’s Republic.
Imagine, if you will, Neil deGrasse Tyson—celestial tie and all—sprawled across empty pizza boxes atop a twin bed, eyes glazed over as visions of Plato’s cave and words like “dialectical” dance in his head. Suddenly, he realizes—he’s done it. He’s figured it out. Neil pulls out his phone, and starts to tweet.
Wouldn't it be cool if Zombies & Vampires become human if we bite them first? Somebody needs to test that one.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) March 25, 2012
If we had 12 fingers, I wonder whether the Bill of Rights to the American Consitiution would have been 12 amendments long.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 22, 2014
I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a fat turtle.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) March 26, 2014
When I shop for fruit & melons I like to hold a grape next to a cantaloupe & think of Earth next to Jupiter. Then I eat Earth
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) February 21, 2014
Occasionally I wonder what a football game would be like if played by Zombies. Would be slower, but oh so much more violent.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) February 4, 2013
If house cats were in charge, I wonder if they would post videos of cute humans doing stupid things.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) November 25, 2013
If Bears ruled the world, I wonder if they would care whether or not the Humans they mauled were free-range.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) June 27, 2013
I wonder if social media atheists ever use "OMG". If so, they probably intended to type "OYG".
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) October 24, 2014
Never figured why the Foul Pole is called the Foul Pole when it's entirely in fair territory. Should be called the Fair Pole.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) July 11, 2012
Just wait until his Intro class hears about this.
