31 People Who Will Sell You Pets, Blood, and Sex for an iPhone 5

Many, many people would like to purchase an iPhone 5. But only a special few are willing to sell these highly inappropriate things in order to afford it. Also, uh, guys? The iPhone 4 is free.

Plasma

There used to be a Storify embed here, but Storify doesn’t exist anymore.

Sperm

There used to be a Storify embed here, but Storify doesn’t exist anymore.

Both

There used to be a Storify embed here, but Storify doesn’t exist anymore.

Basically Every Human Part

There used to be a Storify embed here, but Storify doesn’t exist anymore.

Houses

There used to be a Storify embed here, but Storify doesn’t exist anymore.

Cars

There used to be a Storify embed here, but Storify doesn’t exist anymore.

Pets

There used to be a Storify embed here, but Storify doesn’t exist anymore.

Siblings

There used to be a Storify embed here, but Storify doesn’t exist anymore.

Sex

There used to be a Storify embed here, but Storify doesn’t exist anymore.

Are a lot of these people just joking? Sure! Probably. Hopefully? But either way, people, say it with me now: It's just a phone.

TechApple

Plasma

Sperm

Both

Basically Every Human Part

Houses

Cars

Pets

Siblings

Sex

DISCUSSION