Many, many people would like to purchase an iPhone 5. But only a special few are willing to sell these highly inappropriate things in order to afford it. Also, uh, guys? The iPhone 4 is free.

Plasma

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Sperm

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Both

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Basically Every Human Part

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Houses

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Cars

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Pets

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Siblings

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Sex

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Are a lot of these people just joking? Sure! Probably. Hopefully? But either way, people, say it with me now: It's just a phone.