2. Qualcomm takes adrenochrome and pulls us all into its nightmare
The folks at The Verge have already designated Qualcomm’s 2013 CES event as “the most insane keynote ever” and they’ll get no argument from me. This one only comes in at number 2 on our list because I think there’s one presentation that’s more embarrassing.
The clip above will give you an idea of the absurd fever dream that Qualcomm brought to CES that year, but you really should watch the full video if you want to descend into the depths of a marketing exec’s extended existential cry for help. It includes an interminable skit between hip actors playing the roles of “the Socialite, the Gamer, and the Entrepreneur.” Big Bird shows up, as does Desmond Tutu and Maroon 5. Guillermo Del Toro invites Qualcomm’s Executive Chairman over to his house for Mexican food. Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer, king of unhinged keynotes, takes the stage at one point just to be sure he’s present for the two most infamous keynotes in history. And it all wraps up with a showcase for the upcoming film Star Trek Into Darkness, the most cursed of all Star Trek movies.
