Hey, it's your birthday! To celebrate this momentous occasion I got the pocket birthday kit complete with four candles, matches and a base. Why are you crying? What do you mean you don't have any friends? I'm here with the pocket birthday dude! This is supposed to be a happy time. Available for about $6 (which is ridiculous). [Design3000 via 7Gadgets]
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Oh man... this is just priceless.
I know what my buddy is getting this year. Wrap it in a tissue and you've taken care of all the bases.