Rudy Giuliani, waxwork dredged from Madame Tussaud’s overheated closet of disgraced celebrities, has joined Cameo. The venue is a decided step up from the right-wing misinformation outlets where he’s struggled to make sense of his own nonsensical conspiracy theories on the fly.
He’s here, he says, in an introductory video, to serve a message on “an issue of concern,” “a greeting,” or “a story.” If you’d like to prompt Rudy with something like “TELL US ABOUT THE UKRAINE THING,” you can find his profile here.
He does a pretty good impression of a reasonable person. His hair dye isn’t dripping down his face like a cigar-flavored popsicle. The video quality is decent. He’s sitting in front of a bookshelf. All a better look than “man who’s recently had his law license suspended,” “target of an FBI raid,” and “human fart machine.” On Cameo, he’s labeled as a “creator” under “podcasts.” You can get him for $275.
He’s also the defendant in a $1.3 billion defamation suit by Dominion Voting Systems for peddling a made-up scheme that largely fueled the violent insurrection at the U.S. Capitol.
Giuliani joins other Trump allies who’ve hitched their wagons to Cameo. Don Jr. is booking birthday greetings (“gigs?”) and lib owns for $500. Junior’s girlfriend and former Fox News host Kimberly Guilfoyle charges $200. Roger Stone was previously offering videos for $100 each but appears to have suspended posts. Former Trump advisor Corey Lewandowski is there for $70, along with The Mooch, for $57. In fact, Trump allies seem to have colonized the “political commentator” section of the platform, alongside Trump and Boris Johnson impersonators.
In any event, if you have any lingering questions about hacking or what’s going on in that noggin, Rudy Giuliani is probably getting liquored-up and waiting for your request as we speak.