Apple Free To Continue Destroying Our Ears In 2010

Illustration for article titled Apple Free To Continue Destroying Our Ears In 2010

Everyone remembers that story about how a bunch of people were suing Apple for potential iPod-induced hearing loss, even though they hadn't lost any hearing. It got shot down last year, appealed, and today, killed for good. CRANK IT.

The case was a bit odd from the start, in that it hinged on the potential for hearing loss, rather than actual, inflicted hearing loss. It was also odd beacuse iPods, which are evidently capable of pumping out about 125dB of sound through a pair of those crappy white earbuds, already have a volume-limiting function. This is in addition to normal volume controls, which apparently don't provide enough guidance to users to prevent them from techno-blasting their eardrums into mucousy, deaf meat-nuggets. The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals upheld a lower court's decision from last year that iPod could be, and generally are, used safely, and dismissed the lawsuit.


But as my grandfather always used to say, at the center of every frivolous class action technology lawsuit, there lies a grain of truth: iPods and iPhones, if you turn them up too loud, can damage your hearing. So don't, k? [Ars Technica]

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Just like how an iPod may potentially cause bodily harm if you toss it at someone's head, may explode when put on an open range top, or ground into a fine powder, added to milk and ingested, and inserting rectally.

Now we can start a new one: suing Apple for potential theft of our iPhones, due to its desirability. I intend to buy another one with my settlement money.