As the House of Representatives voted 230-197 and 229-198 on mostly party lines to impeach Donald Trump on charges of abuse of power and obstruction of Congress on Wednesday night, Trump spent a good stretch of a rally in Battle Creek, Michigan waging his ongoing feud against water-conserving bathroom fixtures.
Earlier this month, Trump used a small business roundtable at the White House as an opportunity to deliver a delirious rant about low-pressure toilets, saying his administration was “looking very strongly at sinks and showers, and other elements of bathrooms” because “People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once.” He also said that he had directed the Environmental Protection Agency to adjust policy based on his grudge against toilets. (The EPA actually estimates using approved water- and electricity-conserving fixtures and appliances can save the average household $350 annually, a figure that presumably accounts for the occasional courtesy flush.)
Trump, as he became only the third president in 243 years of U.S. history to face impeachment, rambled again about bathroom difficulties to his audience in Battle Creek—making sure this time to note that it is not him, of course, who needs to flush the toilet a dozen times to dispose of his leavings, but many others.
Transcript below the videos:
Sinks, uh, showers, all of this stuff, I did a lot of it. No water comes out. You have areas where there’s so much water you don’t know what to do with it. You turn on the shower, you’re not allowed to have any water anymore. I mean, we do a lot of it. Uh, dishwashers. You did the dishwasher, right? You press it. Remember the dishwasher, you press it? Boom, there’d be like an explosion, five minutes later, you open it, the steam pours out, the dishes. Now you press it 12 times. Women tell me. Again. You know, they give you four drops of water. And they’re in places where there’s so much water they don’t know what to do with it. So we just came out with a reg on dishwashers. We’re going back to you.
... Now we’re doing it with a lot of other things. Uh, dishwashers, and uh, you know. I won’t tell you one of the things because every time I tell you they do a big number on it. You know the one I’m talking about, right? Sinks, right? Showers? And what goes with a sink and a shower?
[Crowd chants, “A toilet!”]
Ten times, right? Ten times. [Trump does flushing motion while saying something that sounds like ‘bah, bop.’] Not me of course, not me, but you. You. But I never mention that. Because one time I mentioned all three. I said, sinks, showers, and toilets. The headline was, ‘Trump with the toilets, toilets.’ That’s all they want. They don’t even mention the, so I didn’t mention that, okay? I go off the record.
But you know what, it’s terrible. You wanna wash your hands, you turn on the sink, no water comes out. So you leave the water, go ten times as long, it’s same thing. You have a shower. Drip. It’s no good for me, for me.
You know, the one thing that came out really good about being in this business, they used to say I wore a hairpiece...
To reiterate: The president spent part of the night he was impeached telling a rally in Michigan that it is not him who poops too much for it to go down in a single flush, but “you” who poops too much for it to go down in a single flush.
At other points during the rally, according to a excerpts posted to Twitter by Media Matters’ Parker Malloy and Vox journalist Aaron Rupar, he rambled about how enemy forces “can’t see” stealth fighters, rattled off a make-believe conversation between Bill and Hillary Clinton, said he could still lock up Hillary Clinton, called Representative Adam Schiff unattractive, touted nonexistent plans for the “greatest health care ever” while bragging about the rollback of the Affordable Care Act’s individual mandate, and suggested that late Representative John Dingell is in hell.
Correction: On second reference, we referred to Battle Creek as in Wisconsin. As mentioned in the first paragraph, it’s in Michigan. We regret the error.