Ben Mendelsohn Dunking on Every Marvel Hero That's Not Spider-Man Is Exactly What We Needed Today

Ben Mendelsohn would cut each and every one of you before a single hair on Spider-Man’s head was harmed.
Ben Mendelsohn would cut each and every one of you before a single hair on Spider-Man’s head was harmed.
Image: Marvel Studios and Sony Pictures

Remember that wild month where we all thought Spider-Man might not be in the MCU and everyone promptly lost their shit? Well, even if that ended up not being the case, it turns out no one might have lost their shit more than Ben Mendelsohn.


Mendelsohn is, of course, part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe himself now, having appeared as Talos the Skrull alongside both Brie Larson’s Captain Marvel and Tom Holland’s Spider-Man (technically for the latter, given that he’s disguised as Samuel L. Jackson for most of it) in Captain Marvel and Spider-Man: Far From Home. But, speaking to Metro recently, the actor enunciated in a spectacularly sweary fashion that he would happily trash not just his own role but basically a good chunk of the Marvel roster before contemplating the reality where Marvel Studios really did lose out on future appearances from the web-slinger.

“I think what happens in these things is, most of the time, cooler heads prevail,” Mendelsohn told Metro, before promptly doing the exact opposite himself. “Sometimes we end up in a situation which feels like it’s going to be the lead up to World War I.”

“But shit, man. You can’t lose Spider-Man from the Marvel universe. He’s one of their absolute motherfucking pornstars,” Mendelsohn continued. “Boy, I could name 30 that you could quite comfortably lose before you start thinking about losing Spider-Man. In fact, I cannot think of a single character who’s more important to Marvel than Spider-Man. You’ve got Hulk, you’ve got Thor…none of them are as important as Spider-Man. None of them.”

You heard the man, Mark Ruffalo and Chris Hemsworth. You? And 28 other Marvel stars? Nothing. Ben Mendelsohn would come for all of you like he was Thanos himself, because you are nothing compared to Spider-Man. You are the very dirt beneath his likely well-fashioned feet.

I want to hear his full list, frankly. Actually—I don’t care that the Marvel movies are, by and large, PG-13 affairs. I want the next Spider-Man movie to have a scene where someone question’s Peter’s capacity only for Talos to stroll into Avengers HQ and deliver this quote, curse-laden word for word, as Mendelsohn chews on the scenery around him like he’d not eaten in days.


And you know what? He’d be right.

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Angrier Geek

Well, duh. It’s been established the Spider-Man is single most popular and profitable superhero. When you total up sales for everything (comics, movies, TV, merchandising), ol’ webhead is number one. And don’t think Marvel doesn’t know it which is why this Sony deal is such a pain in their asses.