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Fake Steve: In case you’re wondering why I’ve never been caught in one of these sex scandals

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Because you must be wondering that, right? I mean I’m rich. I’m famous. People worship me. Plus, I can hypnotize people pretty much at will. And, let’s be honest, when you put me next to Larry, and Eric, and even Bill Clinton, or really almost anyone, well, I’m a lot better looking.

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