Your Own Hydraulic Press ($254)
If you’ve ever been on TikTok, there’s a good chance you’ve scrolled past a video of someone crushing a watermelon, a bicycle, or some other sturdy-looking object with a hydraulic press. To be human is to seek to conquer your environment, and what better way to do that than to put a bunch of lit candles inside the jaws of a machine designed to squash things into a pulp just for fun? Without a doubt, there is at least one person on this earth who’s seen these videos and thought, I’d like to know for myself what it feels like to crush a tennis ball like that, and now, for that one person, there’s good news: You can own your very own 12-ton hydraulic shop press. The one they always advertise on TikTok looks like a front for some VPN, but Amazon sells this one, affectionately known as “Big Red,” for the low, low price of $253.79.
