I used to have a giant crush on Pierce Brosnan, back in his Thomas Crown Affair days. Now he’s starring in I.T., a movie about Big Scary Technology that looks both terrible and excellent at the same time.
Here’s the plot, courtesy of IMDB user Roary:
Mike Regan [Brosnan] has everything he could ever want, a beautiful family and a top of the line smart house. The company he owns is on the verge of changing flight leasing forever. That is, until the relationship with his closest advisor turns nasty, to the point where his teenage daughter is being stalked and his family is under attack through every technological facet of their lives.
And here is a brief summary of the trailer, courtesy of this blogger:
0:06: Pierce looks important while walking across an empty airplane hangar.
0:13: Pierce encounters technical difficulties during a very important (?) presentation.
0:20: Hot IT Guy comes in and mashes his hands on Pierce’s laptop, “saving his ass in there.”
0:21: Pierce invites Hot IT Guy over to his house, ostensibly to say thank you.
0:29: Hot IT Guy says a very creepy hello to Pierce’s movie daughter.
0:38: Pierce talks about the “smart panels in [his] home” and how he turned them off for privacy. “Good luck with that,” Hot IT Guy says darkly.
0:48: Hot IT Guy shows up on Pierce’s doorstep saying something about a text from Pierce’s daughter. Pierce is NOT HAPPY.
0:58: Hot IT Guy looks evil.
1:00: Pierce gets hacked!!!!!!
1:15: Hot IT Guy says, to no one in particular, “We’ll see how tough you are, when your little planes start falling out of the sky!”
1:25: “Change everything,” Pierce orders threateningly. “Passwords, codes. Secure this place!”
1:42: Pierce has a car accident.
1:45: Pierce’s movie daughter tells her movie father, “I want you to fix it.” Does she mean the router? I ask my dad this all the time!
1:53: Hot IT Guy is shown smashing his head against a bathtub while a voice says, “He has serious mental health issues. He is a bad man.”
1:57: Pierce puts on his jacket, threateningly.
2:00—2:10: Many scary scenes flash by, and Pierce walks threateningly toward the camera. (Pierce sure does love his threatening movements!)
I.T. has a planned release date in theaters and via “video on demand” of September 2016. Also, in the event you need another reason to buy a ticket, Cosmopolitan reports that Taylor Swift’s brother Austin is in this movie.