Ladies and gentlemen, after hours of studious dissection of Apple keynotes (requiring countless YouTube clips, a non-linear editing program and a pile of empty Hot Pockets boxes that reaches our ceiling), we've figured out just how Apple "does it" and presented "it" to you here. Launching a new iPod or iPhone isn't about the new-fangled technology; it's about the showmanship. And here are the five, snake-charming ways Steve Jobs lures you to buy a new version of what you already have. SPOILER ALERT: It may involve comparing things to pencils.