Few of us have the mental bandwidth to care about the latest hot new social thing. When Foursquare split its app, I never downloaded Swarm in protest. I never signed up for Ello. Do I sound too get-off-my-lawn when I say screw Snapchat?
The never-ending influx of new platforms makes me wonder: If I had to pick just one network to use forever, which would it be? It's an oddly freeing concept. I know I should probably be excited to download the hottest apps and hunt down bright-eyed and bushy-tailed new upstarts. But I feel over-social-saturated already, and I’m pretty set in my ways.
Facebook is my main hub, the place where I can hang out with everyone from that dude I sat next to on an airplane that one time to my extended, far-flung family. I hate the twitchy algorithms, but there’s no better place to see what people are freaking out about and who has had another baby. Twitter for me is a place to scope breaking news and experience the pithy thoughts of random celebrities. Tumblr is where I anonymously revel in the depths of my geekery, freaking out with folks as obsessed with fandom minutiae as I am.
Although LinkedIn is ranked as one of the most popular social networks in the world, it’s hard to remember it exists when you’re not job-hunting—and the idea of chilling on LinkedIn all day for fun seems bleak. Pinterest is pretty and Instagram is entertaining, but as someone more into words and news than visuals, I often forget they exist. Some of my friends swear by Vine, but my attention span is already too split to care much about 6-second videos.
Of course, my age is showing. I remember when Facebook was shiny and new, and there’s no doubt that I’m most comfortable with it because I’ve been on it for so long. The reverse is often true for younger people, who prefer anonymity or just plain avoiding the place where their grandparents will inevitably comment on their selfies with something like “What a darling boy!”
I know a lot of my habits are based on my personal preferences where media is concerned. But I guess if I had to keep one social network in the event of Sudden Internet Apocalypse, it would be Facebook, which connects me to hundreds of friends near and far and contains almost a decade's worth of memories. Yet I feel sad and somewhat soiled to have signed my soul over to the Zuckerberg Mothership.
So I want to hear from you. Of all the sites and apps, which do you prefer? If you had to choose one to rule them all, what would it be?