• "Phone lines over 14 feet will, over time, fry your modem."
• "Your phone lines are like a car. Every once in a while, they need service."
• "We cannot send a service technician to your house."
• "I'd be happy to help you today."
• "It is impossible to speak to my supervisor. My supervisor is Verizon."
• "This is the 'North American' office."
• "There is not electricity going down your phone line, sir. It's data. Electricity has nothing to do with it."