In the dead of night this weekend, someone or something left dozens of ageing TVs on the porches and lawns of Virginia homes.
According to reports from CNN and WWBT, at least 60 different people in Glen Allen in Henrico County woke up on Aug. 11 to discover that old television sets had been left on their porches—with security footage showing that they were left there by what appeared to be an individual wearing either a mask shaped like a TV set or, uhh, the New Flesh.
Local resident Adrian Garner, whose security system captured one view of the dropoff, told WWBT it depicted a “guy dressed in a jumpsuit with a TV for a head.” Clips provided to the network showed the as-of-yet unidentified person or... entity leaving a TV set on his porch at around 5:30 a.m. local time.
“My first reaction was, ‘Did we order this?’ Not in an Amazon box, it was just kind of strange,” Garner told WWBT.
Another view of the TV-bringing interloper, per WWBT:
Henrico Police Division Lieutenant Matt Pecka told WWBT that officers were dispatched to collect the TVs, finding over 60, and that authorities currently believe that more than one person must have been involved in the incident. If caught they could face charges of littering on private property or illegal dumping, Pecka added. The TVs themselves are bound for solid waste disposal.
As CNN noted, this is actually the second time the TVs have shown up in Glen Allen. In 2018, local news reported the discovery of dozens of units left at suburban homes in the area, with one family finding a Toshiba FST Black Stripe television dating to 1986. At the time, some locals were reportedly wary that something could be wrong with the sets or that they could contain something unknown. No sightings of an ambulatory TV man, however, were reported.
Some locals don’t appear all that concerned this time around.
“They had way too much time on their hands if they had all these TVs and spread them out all over the neighborhood,” local resident Michael Kroll told CNN. Another resident told the network, “Maybe TV man was just ready to strike to put a little humor in our lives. Why do people do anything, people are weird.”
Yes... people. Definitely people. Just people. For sure. People. Yes sir... people.
Correction: The author is precisely old enough to not know that a CRT-TV is not a “rear-projection” TV. He regrets the error.