Either the New Yorker has access to super-classified government intel (Seymour Hersh FTW!), or they just possess a healthy enough imagination to have come up with this approximate sketch of Obama's new and improved Blackberry.
No matter the motive, the final product is great, and comes with a breakdown of the phone's features, which include proximity detectors and advanced call-forwarding/call-block functionality. There are even apps that tell jokes and remind you to take a smoke break. Here are a few of my favorites:
3. Press to play prerecorded "Love to, but this term's no good" response to Senator McCain lunch request.
6. Alarm flashes if Malia and Sasha are jumping on Lincoln's bed.
7. Push to get Rahm Emanuel's Wisecrack of the Day.
11. Tap once to activate C.I.A. briefing. Tap twice to activate C.I.A.-briefing lie detector.
13. Automatic alert beeps if Al Gore is within one mile of White House.
19. Press to refresh current Cabinet roster.
Check out the rest of the list over at [New Yorker]