Politician Proposes Hoverboard Lanes For DC By 2015

Illustration for article titled Politician Proposes Hoverboard Lanes For DC By 2015

If the recent White House Correspondents Dinner has shown us anything, it's that politicians are the true masters of comedy in American society. Case in point: a recent joke proposal by a D.C. politician to install "hoverboard lanes" in the nation's capital.


You know... like bike lanes. Only they're for hoverboards. Because hoverboards are going to be a thing soon. Except that they're not, and the joke proposal actually just serves to remind us how far we are from the hoverboard future that kids of the 1980s and 90s were promised.

Washington, D.C. councilwoman Mary Cheh apparently produces a joke-filled budget proposal every year. This year she's floating the idea for hoverboard lanes in order to prepare for 2015 — the year that Marty McFly visits in the 1989 time-travel documentary Back to the Future II.

From the joke budget proposal:

Transfer $500,000 from the Department of Motor Vehicles to the District Department of Transportation for the development and regulation of hoverboard lanes. According to Back to the Future II, hoverboards will be invented during calendar year 2015. It is imperative that the District be ready for this new means of transit. Hoverboard lanes will be placed between sidewalks and bicycle lanes. Opponents may argue that these lanes will only fuel the war on cars. This Committee stands by its position that there is no war on cars however, as a precautionary measure, an additional $175,000 will be allocated to the Department of Public Works to assist in the clean-up after D.C. Transit Judgment Day: the day when vehicles, pedestrians, and cyclists engage in an all-out war to determine the District's transit policy going forward. Fortunately, some of us will have hoverboards to escape the battle.

In fairness to Cheh, she really does seem to care about the future of Washington's transportation needs, with everything from light rail to ride-sharing on her actual agenda. But maybe she should leave the hoverboard jokes alone. It's depressing enough to be reminded that they're no closer to becoming a reality than they were in 1989.

Cheh might be right about that "Transit Judgment Day" thing. But something tells me a hoverboard isn't quite fast enough to let you properly "escape the battle."


Skynet could not be reached for comment.


Image: Screenshot of the baddies on hoverboards from Back to the Future: Part II




Maybe DC realizes the impact of today's news...