When it comes to my favorite things on the internet, Mr. Sardonicus' YouTube channel — which is chock full of the most synapse-melting scenes from martial arts cinema — is pretty far up there. Mr. Sardonicus recently picked out his two favorite battles from director Cheung-Yan Yuen's 1984 opus Gui ma tian shi, which also goes by English names of Taoism Drunkard and Drunken Wu-Tang.

In the first sequence, the character "Old Devil" picks a fight with some older warriors, who torture "the astronomic bastard" and introduce him to the power of hidden spike armor. Please don't watch this if you're on drugs. Your paradigms will shift to an infinite point on the horizon.

And this second fight is an extended cut of Old Devil's battle with The Watermelon Monster, our favorite spherical beast from here until eternity. Old Devil tries to purloin a scroll, only to run afoul of booby traps and a deadly grandmother. Watch!