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Rejuvenating Bio-Mat

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Those asshole negative ions. They just sit around all day being all negativey and distributing the case of the Mondays to everyone in their path. There is only one way to beat those negative ions: use a heating pad Biomat mx. This rug—available in a variety of sizes—does some special amethyst magic to make the negative ions commit seppuku.

You may think you are paying upwards of $3,200 for fatigue, stress, and pain reduction throughout your body, but you would actually just be buying a damn expensive rug while the Bio-Mat technicians hippies scientologists employees spend your hard-earned money on drugs, Birkenstocks and stress tests.

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