Seven Tools to Help Kiss Ass on Bosses' Day

Illustration for article titled Seven Tools to Help Kiss Ass on Bosses' Day

Today is Bosses' Day. And though the day is nearly over, it's not too late to score brownie points with El Jefe. Send a card. Give a gift. Pretend you appreciate their whip cracking! Here are 7 tools to help.

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Illustration for article titled Seven Tools to Help Kiss Ass on Bosses' Day

Cards for iOS

You're working, so you obviously don't have time to go out and get your boss a card. But you can make one and mail it to your boss with your iPhone using Apple's totally useless useful Cards app. Sure, it may not have that same personal touch, but then again, you're probably the only person in your office who knows it's Bosses' Day anyways. Free.

Illustration for article titled Seven Tools to Help Kiss Ass on Bosses' Day

T2 Hole Putt Guide

Know what your boss has that you don't? The office space to work on their golf game while you're slaving away. Get them this putt guide, which not only helps train the movement of a golfers putting stroke along the X and Y axes. $50

Illustration for article titled Seven Tools to Help Kiss Ass on Bosses' Day

Liquor Bottle Lock

So everyone in the office knows where your boss hides that bottle of aged scotched, and help themselves to a nip thinking that they're the only ones with the audacity to do so. Your boss is secretly perturbed, but obviously can't make any accusations in the open lest he want an HR shitstorm on his hands. Anonymously gift them this liquor lock to please your boss and keep their mind (and booze) at ease. $16

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Illustration for article titled Seven Tools to Help Kiss Ass on Bosses' Day

Jump to Conclusions Mat

Your boss spends the day making important decisions. That doesn't mean he doesn't need some help every now and then. Unfortunately, you're only good for helping to decide on lunch. This jump to conclusions mat won't really help either, but you boss can appreciate a good movie reference nonetheless.$13

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Illustration for article titled Seven Tools to Help Kiss Ass on Bosses' Day

Brookstone Coffee Warmer

Bosses drink coffee. Bosses hate cold coffee. Bosses will love you if you give them something to keep their coffee warm. $25

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Illustration for article titled Seven Tools to Help Kiss Ass on Bosses' Day

Get the Hint Notes

We don't make it easy on our bosses. It's why we're not bosses ourselves. And they really hate having to repeat themselves. These reminder flags will allow them to yell at you without having to yell. $5

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Illustration for article titled Seven Tools to Help Kiss Ass on Bosses' Day

Eyelid Stickers

Your boss can't get caught sleeping. It will start a catastrophic office trend. But if you sneak him some eyelid stickers, which make it look like he's in an intense state of mind when he's actually catching a quick nap, he'll probably let you doze off for a few minutes every now and then as well.$2

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Top Image via Shutterstock/Jaimie Duplass

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Last pic reminded me of Jack Sparrow. But it was fucking creepy. As if I was looking into the souless eyes of an N64 Goldeneye character.