Sorry Guys

Illustration for article titled Sorry Guys

We've banned everyone. Even Strider. Have a quiet weekend folks.*

*This may not be true. I think we're having technical whoopsies on the comment front. Normal service will be resumed, etc, etc.

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This kind of like that time when you got home from school late one day and mom & dad and your little brother were sitting there at the kitchen table having dinner and nobody looked up or said anything and you kind of weren't sure that you made enough noise when you came in because they should have heard you so you threw your books down to make that clunky noise and still they didn't look up so you hollered that you were home and they still didn't see you so you walked in the kitchen and said hi but nobody even looked up and you little brother kept jabbering on at how nice it was that he was an only child and your parents laughed gleefully and you wondered if Jimmy Stanton really was right when he told you that if you drank enough chocolate milk you would become invisible and it became clear that having consumed nineteen half-pints of chocolate milk at lunchtime really had made you invisible, but later than expected because all you wanted to do was play tricks on Mrs. Lemelson during social studies class that afternoon but when you stood on your desk and started yodeling "Ricola!" when Mrs. Lemelson came in it became abundantly clear that you were maybe only partially invisible and Mrs. Lemelson encouraged you to get out of class and go sit in front of Principal Rhodie's office where she felt sure that you would not be invisible after all and you had to wait there, maybe only ten percent convinced that you really were invisible, until Mrs. Lemelson came by to talk to Mr. Rhodie, not even looking at you with that mean look she used to get when you would make fart sounds in back of class and finally Mr. Rhodie brought you in to explain yourself, young man, and get to the bottom of the problem with chocolate milk and you tried to explain but he made you stay late and do homework right in front of Mrs. Lemelson whle she graded your report on the Incas and scowled a little until she told you that you could go home and you walked home all alone, feeling not very convinced about how fun being invisible really was but you figured that maybe drinking the 20th half pint of chocolate milk would set the record straight so you drank it on your way home and, boy, that sure seemed like a bad idea since you were totally forgotten by your family and they couldn't even hear you so there was no point in yodeling "Ricola!" again and then, all of the sudden, they all looked around and laughed and looked at you and it was a big joke and you felt better, but were still pretty queasy from having consumed all that milk and you barfed all over the kitchen floor and even though your family stopped laughing you felt a lot better and smiled a lot.