Safe

Biometric Fingerprint Safe is NRA Endorsed, Futuristic

This Sequiam Biometrics BioVault 2.0 is officially endorsed by the NRA as a biometric gun-safety device, meaning it’s safe enough that an organization that specializes in guns believes it can prevent your kids from getting at your guns. And not only is it safe, it’s convenient too. How many times have you heard an intruder…

A 10-year-old boy locked himself in a gun safe at a Sam’s Club store near Boston. It took 30 minutes to get him out. [WCVB TV via The Obscure Store]

Clock Safe Hides Your Goods in Time

Everyone knows you shouldn’t have a safe that looks like a safe. The robbers will know exactly where your valuables are and will focus on cracking it. What you need is a good hiding spot. Sure, you could hide your valuables in some poop-stained tighty-whiteys, but, well, gross. https://gizmodo.com/brief-safe-scares-away-thieves-167338 This wall clock tells the time…

Water Bottle Safe: Now The Burglers Know About This One, Too

Now that we’ve convinced you to spend all your money on thingamajigs and geegaws of every stripe, you’ll have to treat the little cash you have left with extreme care. Perhaps you’ll want to hide that moo-laa in a lettuce safe that looks exactly like a vegetable residing in your refrigerator, but since we’ve publicized…

Voice Activated Safe—Good for Hermits

Never leave your home, live by yourself and have zero friends? This safe is great for you! This voice activated safe requires no keys, combinations or numbers to remember. Just say the password phrase and the safe will magically open. If you don’t fall into the hermit category, then this safe may not work so…

Safe Protected by Laser Beams

OK, that’s enough M$FT posting. This little laser beam safe won’t let anyone near your stash unless they punch in a secret code and slice off a fingertip to unlock the biometric security system. If the laser beams break, it cries like when you take candy from a baby. (Even if it’s not as fun.)…

Wall Outlet Safe

Sometimes hiding things in plain sight can be better than placing it in a thick safe. Place your precious jewelry into this fake wall outlet and thieves will never find it. There’s also a lock mechanism to keep the outlet from falling out willy-nilly. The only problem with this is the ground hole on the…

Brief Safe Scares Away Thieves

Wait, wait! Before you run away, these skid-marked shorts are fake. What a great place to store your shit valuables! The Brief Safe from Shomer-Tec Law Enforcement & Military Equipment lets you hide cash, jewelry, or documents in the Velcro-closing fly of these bloomers that need a good washin’. Think about it—what thief in his…

Off Limits Voice Vault

Further evidence that it’s not what you say but how you say it, the Off Limits Voice Vault locks up your valuables and can only be opened with a voice-activated password. Although this is not exactly brand new, it does look like fun to record a codeword into this little safe ( open sesame, perhaps?),…