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Ten Ways HP Can Get Rid of Unsold TouchPad Tablets

Illustration for article titled Ten Ways HP Can Get Rid of Unsold TouchPad Tablets

HP killed its webOS hardware division and its TouchPad tablet is dead in the water. It's possible HP may refund retailers like Best Buy for unsold inventory and amass a stockpile of tablets in the process.


Here are ten things HP can do if it finds itself with warehouses full of webOS hardware:

10. Bundle one for free with every HP printer purchase, two with each computer purchase

This is boring and uninspired, but likely the easiest way to get rid of those excess TouchPads.


9. Donate them to a local school and write it off as charitable donation

Reminder to HP, give them away without a service or support package. Otherwise, they will come back to haunt you.

8. Mount them on the walls and use them as fancy wall clocks

That'd be a fancy, schmancy way to tell time now wouldn't it.

7. Rebrand them and sell them during the holiday season as a fancy photoframe

Everyone loves to buy a photoframe for a relative during the holiday shopping season. They are like the fruitcake of the 21st century. So why not convert the lovely tablet into a lovely photoframe.


6. Install remote camera software and use them as a cheap surveillance system

Who needs expensive surveillance cameras when you have 300,000 Touchpads lying around. Plug them in, mount them up and start spying on employees.


5. Employee end of the year bonuses!

Don't give out extra money as a bonus for employees' hard work, give your employees a Touchpad instead.


4. Relieve employee stress by incinerating the excess TouchPads

Forget counseling, let employees vent their anger and frustration by tossing TouchPads into a fire and watching them burn.


3. Go viral by creatively destroying 100 of them at a time and put the videos on YouTube.

Drop them from a plane, crush them with a truck, or shoot them with a gun. The sky's the limit when you have so many of them to destroy.


2. Use them as serving trays for holiday Christmas parties

The Touchpad is flat, well-balanced and servers can use them to play cheerful holiday music. Win, win and win.


1. Have employees Gazelle Them for $300 and split the profits

Last but not least, HP can encourage employees, their families and friends to Gazelle the tablets and split the proceeds.


If you have any suggestions for HP (or really anyone with a TouchPad at this point), leave your ideas in the comments.

You can keep up with Kelly Hodgkins, the author of this post, on Twitter, Google + or Facebook.


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Note that Gazelle is going to promise you X dollars, then once they receive the item, will call you back and offer you X/2 in the hopes that you will cave in since you already sent it. When I sent in my old laptop, the deal was they would send it back at their expense if you refuse. Hold out for a better offer or just have them return it (assuming they haven't changed their policy to charge you return shipping).